Lee Hates Kid A (a white cube folktale)

The following is the shitty and awkwardly written story of a possible reason as to why lee hates kid a. It's not canon.

“Ice age coming”. It was a phrase that Lee never thought he would hear, but the concept was too foreign to him, so he dismissed it. “Ice age coming”, the android repeated, staring at Lee.

“Are you capable of saying anything else?” he asked.

“I can” said the android, “But I do not wish to talk here.”

As lee begun to walk away, he called back “Follow me, we can talk at my place.”

And so, they walked, an android and a human. The android, from a land far away, the human, the honorary leader of the nearby town. Lee, the leader had been in the town for many years, and oversaw its events, made tough decisions, and cared for everyone’s well-being. A few hours later, they arrived back in the town of La’strene. It was not a big town, but it was organized, with rows upon rows of houses, all of which were white and perfectly cube shaped. Besides the forest the exited from, the town was almost entirely surrounded with farmland, where there were many people working away the hours. As they neared one of the white cube dwellings, the outline of a door appeared and they entered.

“So, who are you, and what were you doing in out in the woods?” asked Lee.

“I have no name if that is what you are asking”, replied the android “but I have come to warn you and help you”. Lee laughed to himself. “First things first. Who are you, and what are you?”

Kid A stared at him for a moment. “I am an android. The name my creators have given me is Kid A.”

Lee was surprised, as he hadn’t seen many androids before and never one this close. “Secondly, take a look here”, Kid A moved to Lee’s side, and as he did, a square in the wall shimmered and it became clear, like a window. “You see this? We farm everything we need. We have sustained ourselves for many years, we get what we need, and we thrive. It is perfect here, why would we need your help?”

The android stood there, watching the people toil away in the heat. “As I had mentioned before, there is an ice age coming. Much has to be done if your people are to even have a chance of surviving it.”

Lee’s look quickly turned to one of disgust, “I don’t have time for your jokes. It has never snowed here, and we have never seen the lakes freeze. If you have nothing else, I suggest you leave now.”

A few hours later, Lee was walking through the town when he saw a group of people in a crowd. “What’s going on?” he cried as he ran over to the crowd. In the center, the android stood, spouting the same things he had said to Lee.

“There is an ice age coming, all of you are in danger! If you want to survive you have to do exactly as I say!”

“How do we know we can trust you” called out a townsperson.

“I have no way to prove to you what is coming”, the android solemnly replied “but if you do not take heed of my warning, you will all be frozen to death in 2 weeks.”

The crowd begun murmuring amongst themselves “this is crazy, there’s no way this is real”, “what does it have to gain by lying to us? I say we trust it”, “I’m not convinced, but I am not going to take my chances on this.”

“Enough!” Everyone turned to face Lee. “Why are you letting this… thing spread these lies into your mind?”

“I am no “thing””, the android replied, “I am your only chance for salvation.”

“You keep going on about saving us, yet you’ve given us no explanation how” said Lee. Peoples heads begun to nod, and as they grew restless, the animosity towards the android grew.

“I will tell you” said the android. “I have the blueprints necessary to create a beacon which will alert my masters to our location, where they will be able to evacuate you all before the ice age wipes out all life”. The crowd became silent. They did not fully believe the android but they could tell that It was serious in what it had said.

“Yeah? And where will they take us?” asked Lee, making no attempt to hide the skepticism in his voice.

“To the homeland, where you’ll live relatively free lives under my masters watch.” replied the android, “It would be a utopia, where you’d have no worries or any problems. We would be delighted to have some… organic companions.”

Lee walked directly up to the android. He was quite tall, and towered over it, staring menacingly. “I told you already, it’s perfect here. We don’t need you to come here and spout your false tales. Even if you mean what you say, how do we know we can trust you?” Lee turned towards the people “You know what we’d be if we let this trash heap’s masters take us away? Slaves, they’d make us slaves.”. He turned back to the android and said “Now, if you’re not gone by the time I wake up tomorrow, I’ll oversee your departure myself.”

Lee walked away, muttering obscenities under his breath. After a few minutes, he realized that in his anger, he had walked out of town, and was now standing in the town’s graveyard. Seeing the rows upon rows of headstones stopped him and made him think. ''There are more of these from the last year than I’d like there to be. The people tell me they’re hungry, but I always have enough food, how can they be starving? What are the fields for if they’re not producing anything? All I’ve tried to do is oversee these people as best as I can. I saw this town built from the ground up when I was younger, I can’t just let this android destroy the legacy of our forefathers. ''Suddenly, he snapped back to clarity. Walking away, to his house this time, he knew what he had to do.

The sounds of metal clanging woke Lee the next day. Confused, he rushed outside to see the people assembling a large tower. He grabbed the nearest citizen and spun them around, asking what was going on. “We’re uh, building the beacon for the android” she said hurriedly.

“And just why are you doing that? Do you want to live your life as a slave?” pressed Lee, anger clouding his mind. “

Look” the townsperson said as she pointed to what used to be a puddle of water, “it froze, we’ve never seen that before. How can the android be lying if there’s ice?”

Lee’s face grew distorted with fury “It’s a trick! It has to be! The android probably froze it himself, can’t you people see?” He was ignored, and the building continued. Lee scrambled around, looking for Kid A. He has to be stopped, this is utter madness he thought, as he searched through the masses. All of a sudden, his eyes locked onto Kid A. He grabbed a shovel he found on the ground, intending to use as a weapon, and advanced on the android. Kid A turned, saw the threat that was approaching, and called out for help. Almost instantaneously, he was surrounded by townspeople. “Let me through” shouted Lee, swinging the shovel at them. But they did not budge.

“You’re not welcome here” one of the people said, “you cannot interrupt us, or it will be too late for any of us to be saved”. Lee stood there for a while, stating at the android and the people surrounding it, all the while the builders continued working on the beacon. Finally, he gave up, dropping his shovel and leaving without saying another word.

That night, Lee returned to the building site. The workers had all gone home, but the android remained. Why it had refused to move, Lee did not know, but he was thankful for the opportunity that presented itself to him. Walking softly, Lee found the shovel he had dropped earlier, and clutched it tightly. A million thoughts raced through his mind as he snuck up behind Kid A. ''What if it’s telling the truth? What if an ice age is coming? Am I doing the right thing? No, he thought, this is what’s right. Things are perfect here and I will not let this machine ruin it all. ''He lifted up the shovel, and in one hard swing he felled the android. Quickly, before anyone could come along and question him he began to drag the android’s body away. A few hours later, he gave up and tossed the android down. This is pretty deep in the forest he thought to himself ''nobody is going to find it here. ''

The following day, the town was in a state of confusion. Where was Kid A? Nobody knew. People questioned Lee, but he affirmed that he had no idea about where the android was. “I’m happy to see it gone, but unfortunately I do not know where it has gone” he said, and nobody really questioned him further. In the following days, the material used to construct the beacon was needed elsewhere, so it was quickly dissembled.

Less than two weeks, later, when everyone had begun to forget about the android, it begun to snow. Nobody realized this however, as it happened late at night when all were asleep. Temperatures dropped to -60 that night, and since the houses had not heating system most did not live to see morning. Those that did, found themselves freezing and died shortly after. Except for Lee. He woke up to the sound of something clawing at his house. When he allowed the door to materialize, Kid A was there, dragging itself into his house. Behind it, he could see the snow piling up, and felt his skin begin to freeze. Kid A lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. Before the cold embrace took him, the last words he heard, came from the android. “Ice age coming”.